Would I Still Be Hurting?
by xEmmie-kinZx
Summary: Alfred often wondered how things would be, had the events of three months ago not accured. And, would he still be in so much had they not? AlfredxArthur/USAxUK


**Yet another Hetalia fic.**

**But this one is (hopefully) going to be more emoticional.**

**It'll probably only be 2-3 chapters long~  
**

**Warning: contains strong language, sexual themes, violence, etc**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________  
**

It had been weeks now since he'd seen him. Or was it months? He couldn't remember. All he knew was that if things stayed this was, he'd certainly go mad. That once proud, happy, noble, cheerful Alfred had died long ago. What was left in his stand, was a quivering mess. He had locked himself in his room now just under a month, but, that was better fitting than roaming the halls of his mansion. Alone. Every one of his servants was worried. They'd stand at his room door from time to time, quietly discussing what to do. They thought Alfred couldn't hear, but he could. He heard everything. If only he'd known back then that he'd end up this way, he would have never said what he said. Never had done what he did. It was a mistake, and Alfred knew that now. Sadly, with each passing day, he grew more and more aware that it was too late. 'Please, come back to me' he prayed every night as he leant on the wall besides the window. Night time was the only time he opened his curtains. So he could look to the heavens when they were in their splender. Hoping, wishing that someone was listening. Or were his prayers falling upon deaf ears? Oh how he wanted so much to know. Was all this in vain, or not. Were things ever going to be as there were before? Or, was this how he would live the rest of his life. Alone, miserably and lost in his own thoughts. Thoughts of the man that raised him, loved him, fought him, befriended him and stole his heart.

__________________________________________________________ ~ 3 month earlier ~ _______________________________________________________________

Alfred was smiling broadly, humming to himself whilst he walked towards the gates of his home. Normally, he would never go to greet his guests personally. Especially not outside. But this guest was special. It was Arthur. The person who owened his heart, and had done now for near two years. Yes, he thought very fondly of him. Sure the Brit was very snidey at times, and he had a habit of disagreeing with him and mocking him, but he looked past that. He loved Arthur, and Arthur loved him. That was all that mattered.

Arthur hastily made his way towards the very gates where his friend, and lover, was excitedly waiting his arrival. As soon as he spotted the younger man, a small smile graced his lips. It's been a while since they had had chance to see one another, but now both were free of personal work for a few weeks, and they had matters they needed to discuss, so what better excuse to meet? Sure, half the time they would spend just doing normal couple things, but they would get work done too. Thats being of course when they were'nt screwing each others brains out. An activity they had grown most fond of in the past eight months. They wanted to take things slow, after all.

''Good morning Alfred, decided to actually make an effort in meeting me this time I see?''

''Of course you idiot. When do I ever not make an effort with you?''

He grinned, placing his arm over the elder's shoulder. Whom in return chuckled and placed a small kiss on his cheek. Neither were much on public displays of affection, but less so Arthur. He didn't even hold hands or make physical contact with Alfred in public at all till a year into the relationship, after Alfred had begged and whined for almost three hours. In public. Which, Arthur had to admit, was far more embarresing that the reason he behaved like that in the first place.

Both the men headed back inside, hand-in-hand, and went straight to the dining hall for breakfast. A traditional English breakfast in honour of the house's favourite guest. Eggs, bacon, toast, tomatoes and glass of orange juice. Simply, but delicious all the same. And in Arthur's oppinion, just like Alfred. A simple man, but one who was practically gorgeous enough he could eat him. He never admited that, of course. Mostly because he didn't want Alfred to think he thought lowly of him. Which he didn't - to an extent.

Once breakfast was over, they decided to get part of their political matters out of the way. Which meant long talks about world issues and such. A topic neither was very fond of - especially when there were much better things that they could be doing - but, it needed to be done. Sadly. Luckily, since Arthur had just had a nine hour flight, and hadn't gotten much sleep, they decided to call it a day after a few hours. Just so he could have a nap before they went to bed. Since they wouldnt be sleeping straight away, of course.

Alfred thanked the maid for dinner before making his way to his room. It's not like he'd make Arthur sleep anywhere else. He peeked into the door, smiling at the slumbering figure curled up in his bed and cuddling up to the pillows. The man was so innocent looking when he slept. No one would believe how loud, obnoxious and crude he really was by looking at him as he was now. No, Arthur was as sweet as a child when he was asleep. And Alfred couldn't help himself from sitting next to the currently oblivious man. He gently stroked his fingers through Arthur's scruffy blonde hair, elicting a small groan from the man. At this the American man chuckled, stroking his cheek, smiling. Green eyes soon blinked open, adjusting slowly to the light as they strained to look at the person responcible for disturbing him. Well, he knew who it was, but had to be sure before he said anything.

''You better have a legitiment reason for ruining my amazing dream, or i'll cut your hands off you wanker.''

Definately a different person when he was awake from when he was asleep.

''I didn't mean to wake you love, i'm sorry. Go back to sleep if you'd like.''

''Ugh... what time is it?''

Alfred looked over at the clock. 8:17pm. He then told Arthur, who moaned and forced himself to sit up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

''No point going back to sleep now. I'll just end up waking up in the night and not be able to get back to sleep again.''

Alfred smiled at him, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a tight embrace. And as much as Arthur was pissed that he was woken from the best dream he'd ever had, he forgot all about that. Because this reality was far better than than any dream. It was pure heaven.

The two stayed in blissful silence for a while, happy to just be in each others arm. Then Alfred changed that by pulling his lover onto his knee - thus Arthur wrapped his legs around his waist - and kissed him. It was gentle and soft at first, but soon filled with heated passion. They fought for dominance for a little while. A fight that at one point Arthur would have won, but now, lost rather easily. Not that he minded. Alfred's fingers gingerly gripped hold of the hem of Arthur's jumper, pulling it up and over his head before tossing it to some corner of the room. He then layed him down on his bed, taking his kisses south to his neck and then his now heathing chest. Every so often nibbling at the ivory flesh, causing the older man to wince slightly. But, even though it hurt, he didn't mind, because Alfred always kissed it better. Both were very soon laid bare, wareing nothing but each other's skin. Just the way they liked it to be. Their clothes were sprawled in random places all over the floor, not that either really cared right now. Of course not. There was nothing on their minds besides each other, and how they were both more than ready for this. The sweet pleasure of being together, oh how they had missed it. Alfred gently stroked Arthur's manhood. Soft at first, but much like their kiss, it got rougher as the stroked continued. By this point Arthur was gripping the sheets so tight that his knuckles had surely turned white. His grip only tightening as Alfred took the throbbing organ into his mouth.

''A-ah, Alfred!''

He hissed low in his throat, his head swaying side to side. He'd missed this so much. This feeling that only Alfred could give him. Sure, he'd done this with others, but none felt as great as this. Far from it was a master in his oppinion. Skilled at anything he did, no matter what it be. From fighting to sports to sex. He was a genious, in his own right. And Arthur knew it better than anyone. Said man removed his mouth, which evicted a small whine from his lover, and he couldn't help but laugh at that.

''Worry not love, I promise to give you something even better.''

Not that Arthur was worried. He knew very well things were only going to get better. Yes, the best was yet to come. Alfred lifted the other's legs up over his shoulders, holding his hip with one hand, the other going up to caress his cheek. A soft smile on his face.

''Stupid question, but, are you ready?''

Yes that was a stupid question. Arthur was more than ready, and this was long overdue. The scruffy blonde wiggled his hips a little, a small pout on his face. Out of character for him, maybe, but effictive, definately. Alfed laughed, as he angled his hips ready. Then, without warning, he thrust straight into the smaller body. Whom in return let out a small cry, his eyes watering slightly. Alfred wasted no time in kissing away his tear, nuzzling the his neck in appology. Arthur smiled a little, wrapping his arm around Alfred's shoulders.

They waited a few moments for each other to get adjusted, then Arthur patted Alfred's back and whispered in his ear:

''I'm okay now, please continue.''

Which Alfred did. Starting off slowly at first, but then letting the speed pick up as he went on. In fact, with each thrust he got harder and faster. And of course, Arthur didn't mind. Far from it really. He moaned loud, his back arched as far as his body would allow it. Alfred didn't waste any time in pounding into the other, causing him to scream out. Sometimes in pleasure, some times in pain, but it didn't matter, because Alfred always kissed it better. Every now and then Alfred would look up at Arthur with his seductive baby-blue eyes and this alone made him melt. This was too good to be real.

''Arthur... Ugh, tell me... about you dream.''

''Ah! Wh-at?''

''You said it was amazing... t-ell me about it.''

''Oh God! Oh... You were.. hah! You were doing me from behind! Fuck! And... and you held my hands behind my b-back!''

Arthur was then taken by suprise when Alfred pulled out and pushed him into his stomach. He then pulled his hips up, slamming back inside with just as much force as before. It felt so good. No, it felt amazing. Arthur had often asked himself how something that was considered wrong and discusting, could be wonderful. Honestly, having Alfred inside him was the best thing to him. Because they couldn't get any closer than this. They were one.

Alfred grabbed hold of Arthur's wrists, pulling his upper body up off the bed, in a somewhat painful position, but that didn't matter right now. The pros overwighed the cons.

''Oh God... Ah, oh fuck! A-alfred! Mmm!''

They were both lost in bliss, and it was slowly getting too much for them to bare. Their limit was approaching, and it felt amazing. Alfred slammed in harder than he had before. Mercilesly he rammed into him, so much that now and then they almost lost balance. His grip so tight on the Arthur's arms he would surely leave behind bruises. But, he didn't care, because Alfred always kissed it better. As their movements became stronger and more forceful, it wasn't long before they both screamed out with their release, colapsing into a heap of sweat on the bed. Alfred breathed heavily, rolling off of the other after a while and smiled at him. Arthur smiled back, moving to huddle up to his younger lover. Yes, being in each others arms was a brilliant feeling, but not as great as being one with each other. Shame they couldn't so that more often.

**___________________________________________________________________________________________**

******Probably the longest sex scene-thing i've ever written**

******And it still sucks shit XD**

******You'll see why Alfred is all angsty in the next chapter (and if not then, the chapter after)**

******Cos like I said, it's not going to be that long**

******But I hope you like all the same =]  
**


End file.
